Someone stole a bunch of stuff from our orders that were out for pickup. So, keep your eyes out for a shifty looking character with moisturized skin who smells of Mint Garden and Vanilla Bean. Imagine stealing a bar of Stress Relief Soap? Maybe they needed it more than we did. If our lotion highway woman/man is reading this, please keep the products with our complements. They’re certainly not worth a guilty conscience, and while we might feel a tinge of grrr, we remain mostly grateful for the kind, caring customers we serve on a daily basis, and hope you’ll return (to purchase products) after trying them.
Joel and Katy
Two weeks later...
Someone stole our products again ... but they mighttt not have gotten what they thought they did.
In the days following the theft, I got to thinking. I spend a lot of time obsessively engineering candles, soaps, and other products to delight our customers and bring them back again. Could we reverse engineer a candle to make it so awful someone would turn from their life of crime? Like all R&D projects, the question lingered, nagged, and needed answering.
We chose candles because the thief took the most of them, so we thought if they were going to steal again, that would be their target, and I set out to create a fragrance that was truly nauseating. As a base, we started with one part patchouli. Patchouli smells like old moss or decaying leaves, and while it’s loved by a few and makes a fantastic base note at 10%, the vast majority find it repulsive. Next, I added one part tea tree. Tea tree has a strong medicinal smell that we usually taper by using it with lots of lavender in our facial bars, because it’s good for acne. Combined with patchouli, it was already beginning to churn my stomach, but I thought we could do better, or more appropriately, worse.
I went to a small drawer in our soap studio where I kept fragrance samples, and there it was: a pumpkin spice that was so heavy and sickly sweet, that I only kept it as a reminder to never order it. I poured the bottle into the concoction, and the effect was vomitous. The whole mixture was vile, each awful scent note building upon the other, rippling through my senses like opening Tupperware with dairy that has gone off or finding a forgotten gym bag. For good measure, I added a note of clean cotton, another discarded fragrance, which gave it the smallest base note of 80s baby powder, prickling the nostrils to the finish.
Chuckling to myself, I averted my nose, and added it to the wax, increasing the fragrance load 20% past our normal levels, and then poured it into jars. After it had cooled, I added a thin layer of lavender, which our thief has shown a propensity towards, to disguise the repugnant contents. I labeled them with lavender labels, put them in the hallway, and waited. The trap was set.
Last Friday, someone took them. They were in a bag labeled “Anne” after the notorious 1700s Irish pirate who upon being released from prison, moved to South Carolina, and lived the rest of her life in “uneventful domestic fashion,” our wish for our criminal.
I drove around town that day laughing, picturing them reclining in their living room with friends and a calming lavender candle burning in the background. Suddenly, their nose twitches, catching an unfamiliar smell, and their stomach tightens. They try to push it out of their mind, but soon the whole room smells like a 60s after party held in a hospital hallway where someone has spilled a vat of pumpkin filling and tried to clean it up with cheap laundry detergent.
“What happened to your mercy?” they might ask, like Dumas’ Fernand in The Count of Monte Cristo. To paraphrase Edmond, “I’m a soap-maker, not a saint.”
I first purchased this soap on an island in Maine when I realized I forgot to pack a bar. The scent had me immediately. It’s calming and deep. I used it all week while I was there and just couldn’t get enough of this new (to me) scent. When I got home and continued to use the bar, I couldn’t believe how long it lasted. Weeks longer than any other bar I’ve used. This will probably be my go-to soap forever :)
I love the smell of lilac but lotions are getting hard to find. I ordered this one based on Etsy reviews and I am so glad I did. It was exactly what I was looking for. It smells fantastic.
Hi Bridget,
Thanks for your review! We're so glad you liked the lilac lotion!! Our lilac blooms are just finishing in our yard, so we're glad there's a way to enjoy the scent year-round. Have a great week!
I bought many soaps and the dopey bug spray from Joy Lane Farm. All I have to say is I absolutely love it all! The soaps smell absolutely incredible and they’re the only soap I’ve ever had that doesn’t give my skin that tight feeling. It feels just as incredible as it smells. That includes the shampoo and conditioner! And as far as the dopey bug spray, I’m currently expecting so I needed a more natural option and it smells good while being safe to use. And it does help with the bugs! I look forward to continuing buying soaps from their business.
Hi Brianna,
Thanks for writing such a detailed and helpful review! It was so pleasant to read on a rainy Sunday :-) We love that the goat milk soap and everything else is working well for you! Congratulations on expecting!!
I am chemically sensitive, so am selective about what skin products I use. Joy's makes shea butter creamy by combining it with other ingredients. As a result, it is the best of all possible worlds - unscented and effective for dry skin.
Hi Carolyn,
Thanks for such a nice review! We're so glad the unscented shea butter lotion was a good fit for you and so appreciate you sharing for other customers who are chemically sensitive. Have a wonderful week!
I love the fresh scent of the coconut lemongrass shea butter lotion and love how it feels on my skin. The scent makes me feel like I am on a tropical Island.
Thanks for the review, Barbara!!! Hope you're enjoying the beginning of summer!!!